Oh the times I have heard that statement. Nice guys finish last. Why is it that this seems to be the general opinion? I hear it from nice guys all the time. Women would rather be with a man that treats her like crap, hits her, talks her down than a guy who treats her good. I can see some justification in this, yes I can. I see it too in some women, but those aren't the kind of women you want, trust me. Think about it. A woman that allows a man to treat her bad is in a way just as responsible for it as the man treating her bad. Do you really want a woman that has no more love for herself than this? She needs some help that you probably can't give her. Some may slap me for this, but sorry, women have control over how they are treated. They don't have to accept this bad guys into their lives.
So that being said, maybe you nice guys aren't really looking for the nice girls? Is that a possibility? Do you have all these standards in place such as she has to be this height, this weight, she has to be this, she has to be that etc. Are you missing some of the good girls with your criteria or high expectations?
I am a part of few online communities. One where they train the nice guys to be players or pick up artist. Now I know many look down on this, but a funny thing happens to these guys going through this training. They learn what goes on in a woman's mind and they learn how to push her emotional buttons to trigger attraction. Some call it game playing. Bottom line. I have met quite a few of these guys that went through this so called bogus training and let me tell you, they did get it. Not "it", but they finally understood how women form and keep an attraction for a man. A lot of these men have met and now have long term lasting relationships as opposed to a lot of one night stands. They learn how to be a nice guy with that extra edge.
I deal with mostly women so let me tell you why they say nice guys finish last. The attraction isn't usually there with the nice guys. They talk about going on dates, what a nice guy he is but there is no click. Why is this, why can't they like a nice guy? Could this nice guy not really understand what it is that creates attraction in a woman. Trust me, you can be a nice guy and still drive a girl wild. Do nice guys finish last? No, they don't.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
My Girlfriend Wants a Break
If your girlfriend wants a break, I only know one way to put this too you and that is straight up. There is a break up ahead if you don't give it to her. If you are saying to your friends or searching this "My girlfriend wants a break", there is trouble ahead.
When your girlfriend wants a break or asks for space what she is saying is she is feeling smothered by you. You are possibly heading somewhere too fast or too soon. I hate to say this part too, but sometimes another guy has caught her attention and she wants the space to explore this but doesn't want to tell you. Cop out? Maybe.
Six months ago I told my boyfriend of 6 months I wanted space. Some of the things he was doing was constantly texting me, wanting to talk every night on the phone, which meant my life as I knew it before was being interrupted. I like my nights out with the girls. He didn't mind that so much, but he wanted to talk to me and would call or text while I was out. I drove me crazy. Thing is he was a great guy.
My love language was different. I need space, I need my other life outside of him and his clinging to me was making me feel quilt and I felt reponsible for his happiness. It became not so fun and it started to bleed over to when we were together.
I asked for space. I explained to him I wouldn't always answer texts or calls if I was working or out having a one on one with my girlfriends, but would call him back. I wanted him to trust me on this. We want to be trusted just like you guys do. By him continuing to push, I didn't feel trusted.
I broke up with him because he wasn't getting it. For the first month after the break up, he kept on pushing. He was coming from a place of his pain. He wanted answers. He didn't understand. The more he did this, the more he validated for me that breaking up with him was a good thing.
About month number 2 or 3, he started stopping contact after eventually I had to get pretty rough and threaten to block him or report him for harassment. I understood he was acting from a place of emotion and not logic, but it wasn't getting him anywhere, he was still smothering me and not respecting my wishes and decision.
Month 4 he stopped all contact. I sort of just forgot about him, but often thought of how much I knew he loved me. Still I pushed it out of my mind as I did not want to go down that road again of having to ask him for a break and fighting that battle again. I was convinced I made the right choice to end it.
Month 6, he shows up after no contact for over 60 days, none, nada zilch. When I saw him all I remembered was the good times to be honest and I was very happy to see him. Very unexpected on my part. His emotions had time to calm. He was more able to see it clearly from my point and I was more clearly to see it from his.
We are talking again. We made a stride towards one another. Had he not crowded me in the fist place and given me, his girlfriend a break, we would very possibly never broke up to start with.
Moral of this story, if your girlfriend asks for space or if you are saying to others my girlfriend wants a break, give it to her. Let her miss you because chances are good she will. Don't question her about it, just accept it and give it to her. You stand a much better chance of keeping her if you do. If you fight it, you will lose her.
So if your girlfriend wants a break, take the time to understand the whys of this, take the precautions to stop that break up that is ahead.
When your girlfriend wants a break or asks for space what she is saying is she is feeling smothered by you. You are possibly heading somewhere too fast or too soon. I hate to say this part too, but sometimes another guy has caught her attention and she wants the space to explore this but doesn't want to tell you. Cop out? Maybe.
Six months ago I told my boyfriend of 6 months I wanted space. Some of the things he was doing was constantly texting me, wanting to talk every night on the phone, which meant my life as I knew it before was being interrupted. I like my nights out with the girls. He didn't mind that so much, but he wanted to talk to me and would call or text while I was out. I drove me crazy. Thing is he was a great guy.
My love language was different. I need space, I need my other life outside of him and his clinging to me was making me feel quilt and I felt reponsible for his happiness. It became not so fun and it started to bleed over to when we were together.
I asked for space. I explained to him I wouldn't always answer texts or calls if I was working or out having a one on one with my girlfriends, but would call him back. I wanted him to trust me on this. We want to be trusted just like you guys do. By him continuing to push, I didn't feel trusted.
I broke up with him because he wasn't getting it. For the first month after the break up, he kept on pushing. He was coming from a place of his pain. He wanted answers. He didn't understand. The more he did this, the more he validated for me that breaking up with him was a good thing.
About month number 2 or 3, he started stopping contact after eventually I had to get pretty rough and threaten to block him or report him for harassment. I understood he was acting from a place of emotion and not logic, but it wasn't getting him anywhere, he was still smothering me and not respecting my wishes and decision.
Month 4 he stopped all contact. I sort of just forgot about him, but often thought of how much I knew he loved me. Still I pushed it out of my mind as I did not want to go down that road again of having to ask him for a break and fighting that battle again. I was convinced I made the right choice to end it.
Month 6, he shows up after no contact for over 60 days, none, nada zilch. When I saw him all I remembered was the good times to be honest and I was very happy to see him. Very unexpected on my part. His emotions had time to calm. He was more able to see it clearly from my point and I was more clearly to see it from his.
We are talking again. We made a stride towards one another. Had he not crowded me in the fist place and given me, his girlfriend a break, we would very possibly never broke up to start with.
Moral of this story, if your girlfriend asks for space or if you are saying to others my girlfriend wants a break, give it to her. Let her miss you because chances are good she will. Don't question her about it, just accept it and give it to her. You stand a much better chance of keeping her if you do. If you fight it, you will lose her.
So if your girlfriend wants a break, take the time to understand the whys of this, take the precautions to stop that break up that is ahead.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Love Systems Review
I research many of the dating products out there and recently landed on a forum called "The Attraction Forum". Wow, is all I can say. There are guys there of all ages giving excellent advice and support. The product in my opinion are very realistic and I wish all men would put forth the effort that these guys do to up their dating game.
This isn't like the Don Juan group that seems to promote downgrading women. These guys know their stuff and teach guys how to approach, meet, and keep women. The forum is free and packed with useful information.
The best seller is an e-book called Magic Bullets. It's the basics and well worth the investment especially to those nice guys who get caught in the friend zone.
This isn't like the Don Juan group that seems to promote downgrading women. These guys know their stuff and teach guys how to approach, meet, and keep women. The forum is free and packed with useful information.
The best seller is an e-book called Magic Bullets. It's the basics and well worth the investment especially to those nice guys who get caught in the friend zone.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Texting a Woman - What You Don't Know Will Hurt You
Texting a woman is right at your fingertips and it's the most powrful dating tool you have.. If you are like 95% of the men out there, you are probably screwing it up. When it comes to impacting their dating lives, most men are clueless.
I am going to be blunt about this texting thing you men do. I am a moderator on a women's forum. Hundreds and hundreds of women from all over the world have the same view when it comes to men and their texting techniques, they are clueless. When one gets it right, we rant and rave. It may be months down the road and we are still carrying those great text messages around in our phones. We save them.
Men, when texting women are just doing lame communications at most. They aren't engaging the woman or her playful nature. If you are sending anything close to the following text messages, you may wish to carry on reading.
* Good Morning
* Good Morning Sexy
* Good Night
* How is your day
* Hope you are having a good day
* How are you today
* What are you doing
* How is such and such
* Don't work to hard
* I am doing such and such
* I had a good time last night
* Thinking of you
There is nothing in the above messages to engage a woman and build up her attraction. It's usesless ramblings.. Unless a woman is totally smitten with a guy, these messages will just make her eyes roll.
What you don't know is this. While you are sending her those lame messages, there could very well be a guy who is rocking her world with the right words and techniques. It's the guy of mystery, the one that engages our imagination that push our buttons. Some guys can literally leave us hanging on their words.
It's the guy that teases us, banters with us that we find thrilling. It's a simple thing to do, just pay attention and play off of her. Suzanne is a care free, no nonsense southern woman. Her date from the preceding night added one word to his "I had a nice time last night" and made all the difference in the world. He opened the text with Scarlett, as in O'hara. What woman would not want to be seen that way.
She replied calling him Rhett, as in Butler. The flirty play began. That guy knew how to interact with her and push her buttons. She also knew he had paid attention to her. That is hot, to have a man really pay attention. Talk about stroking a woman's ego.
So when texting a woman, leave the small talk conversations out of it. If you can't flirt and be mischievous and make her smile, put down the cell phone, otherwise you are just throwing cold water on top of the fire. You like to condition her to where when she sees it is you texting, she gets excited, and her heart skips a beat. You want to be the guy who she saves his messages.
It's not just the words you use, it really is the strategies as well. Learn how to get her excited about you with flirty text messages.
I am going to be blunt about this texting thing you men do. I am a moderator on a women's forum. Hundreds and hundreds of women from all over the world have the same view when it comes to men and their texting techniques, they are clueless. When one gets it right, we rant and rave. It may be months down the road and we are still carrying those great text messages around in our phones. We save them.
Men, when texting women are just doing lame communications at most. They aren't engaging the woman or her playful nature. If you are sending anything close to the following text messages, you may wish to carry on reading.
* Good Morning
* Good Morning Sexy
* Good Night
* How is your day
* Hope you are having a good day
* How are you today
* What are you doing
* How is such and such
* Don't work to hard
* I am doing such and such
* I had a good time last night
* Thinking of you
There is nothing in the above messages to engage a woman and build up her attraction. It's usesless ramblings.. Unless a woman is totally smitten with a guy, these messages will just make her eyes roll.
What you don't know is this. While you are sending her those lame messages, there could very well be a guy who is rocking her world with the right words and techniques. It's the guy of mystery, the one that engages our imagination that push our buttons. Some guys can literally leave us hanging on their words.
It's the guy that teases us, banters with us that we find thrilling. It's a simple thing to do, just pay attention and play off of her. Suzanne is a care free, no nonsense southern woman. Her date from the preceding night added one word to his "I had a nice time last night" and made all the difference in the world. He opened the text with Scarlett, as in O'hara. What woman would not want to be seen that way.
She replied calling him Rhett, as in Butler. The flirty play began. That guy knew how to interact with her and push her buttons. She also knew he had paid attention to her. That is hot, to have a man really pay attention. Talk about stroking a woman's ego.
So when texting a woman, leave the small talk conversations out of it. If you can't flirt and be mischievous and make her smile, put down the cell phone, otherwise you are just throwing cold water on top of the fire. You like to condition her to where when she sees it is you texting, she gets excited, and her heart skips a beat. You want to be the guy who she saves his messages.
It's not just the words you use, it really is the strategies as well. Learn how to get her excited about you with flirty text messages.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Calling and Texting Women You Like - This is Critical
When texting or calling a girl you like it's critical that you don't go over board and kill her attraction. Your instinct when you meet a girl that you really like is to reach out and touch her. You want to communicate with her because face it, it feels good. If you want to build attraction though and an emotional connection when texting a girl you like, it's very important that you go easy boy.
An example. Cindy met Don. They really hit if off. Don got Cindy's number and asked her out. They had the first date and there was some mutual chemistry, lots of it. Next morning Don sends Cindy a harmless text. "Good Morning Beautiful". Cindy thinks aw, how sweet. 5 minutes later, he texts her what a great time he had. She still thinks aw, how sweet.
The day goes on, Don sends more texts, tries to engage her in conversation. Wow, Cindy is now wondering if Don isn't maybe a little needy, maybe even desperate. That night he texts her "Good night Sweetie". Her attraction just dropped a few degrees. Women do like to be challenged. When you come running out of the gate full speed ahead, well you took away any challenge or intrigue she might have felt.
She stills gives him the benefit of the doubt and sees him again, but to her horror, the texts just keep getting closer and closer together. The funny sexy guy has turned annoying on her. When texting a girl you like, you want to be flirty, you want to be fun and you don't want to be annoying.
I know you want her to know you are interested and you think those texts are showing her you like her. The fact is all they are showing her is you don't have a life and you are boring. She starts to not answer all of Don's texts, then he starts questioning her. "Are you upset?" "Do you not want to talk to me today?" Texts that show him in a very unattractive not so confident light.
Fast forward a couple of weeks. Cindy has the talk. She tells Don she just wants to be friends. She tells her girlfriends that if he would have just not texted her so much, maybe she would have given him a chance.
Had Don known some really good flirty techniques, this story might have a different ending. Unfortunately, Don is off to repeat the same mistake with the next girl he likes. Texting is a huge attraction killer, but it can be an equally destructive buzz killer. When texting a girl you like, less really is more.
I have swooned and been swooned by some really skilled texters. I have hung on their every text and I have also cringed at the sound of the phone.
An example. Cindy met Don. They really hit if off. Don got Cindy's number and asked her out. They had the first date and there was some mutual chemistry, lots of it. Next morning Don sends Cindy a harmless text. "Good Morning Beautiful". Cindy thinks aw, how sweet. 5 minutes later, he texts her what a great time he had. She still thinks aw, how sweet.
The day goes on, Don sends more texts, tries to engage her in conversation. Wow, Cindy is now wondering if Don isn't maybe a little needy, maybe even desperate. That night he texts her "Good night Sweetie". Her attraction just dropped a few degrees. Women do like to be challenged. When you come running out of the gate full speed ahead, well you took away any challenge or intrigue she might have felt.
She stills gives him the benefit of the doubt and sees him again, but to her horror, the texts just keep getting closer and closer together. The funny sexy guy has turned annoying on her. When texting a girl you like, you want to be flirty, you want to be fun and you don't want to be annoying.
I know you want her to know you are interested and you think those texts are showing her you like her. The fact is all they are showing her is you don't have a life and you are boring. She starts to not answer all of Don's texts, then he starts questioning her. "Are you upset?" "Do you not want to talk to me today?" Texts that show him in a very unattractive not so confident light.
Fast forward a couple of weeks. Cindy has the talk. She tells Don she just wants to be friends. She tells her girlfriends that if he would have just not texted her so much, maybe she would have given him a chance.
Had Don known some really good flirty techniques, this story might have a different ending. Unfortunately, Don is off to repeat the same mistake with the next girl he likes. Texting is a huge attraction killer, but it can be an equally destructive buzz killer. When texting a girl you like, less really is more.
I have swooned and been swooned by some really skilled texters. I have hung on their every text and I have also cringed at the sound of the phone.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Be The Jerk Women Love
Why do women love jerks?
This is a question you've probably asked yourself many times in your life. And you might even wonder why women will dump a guy who treats her good, only to go after an arrogant dick!
It seems like guys complain about this problem all the time. I have heard it many times. One of my best guy friends is always whining about how all girls want is to be his friend.
Usually he'll complain about treating a woman REALLY well, but losing her to some schmuck who'll only ends up mistreating her.
So why does this happen?
Well that's a difficult question to answer. The answer is jerks are NOT boring. And there's an interesting explanation of why this is true. But before we get to that, let's talk about the OPPOSITE of the jerk- "The Nice Guy".
In a lot of the chick flicks, "The Nice Guy" was the sweet, caring dude who secretly wanted to be with the Prom Queen. He's clueless with women, but has a heart of gold. And at the very end, the popular girl realizes how wonderful he is AND they live happily ever after.
Unfortunately life doesn't work this way!
In the REAL WORLD, a overly-friendly, nice guy bores the crap out of women. When dealing with a woman, he takes on the role of her friend and listens to her problems and hopes that someday she'll want to be with him instead of the jerk that just broke her heart.
The problem is nice guys reach women on a LOGICAL level, instead of an EMOTIONAL level. He may make a great FRIEND, but he's doing nothing to create sexual attraction.
Women end up with jerks because they provide an emotional charge. Sure he can act like an asshole and hurt her feelings, but he ALSO provides excitement AND arousal. Around a jerk, a woman never really knows what to expect. All she feels is the butterflies and excitement when he is near.
Now there's good news here...EVERY woman has dated a jerk at some point in her life. And from this experience, she's learned that it's not healthy to be around a man like this. However MOST women want that emotional charge WITHOUT the baggage that a jerk often provides. Not an easy task.
In short, she wants a man who is compassionate, but also a little bit of a bad boy.
By understanding a woman's desire for an emotional experience, you provide her with the perfect balance between 'The Nice Guy' and the jerk. When you're talking to women, you want to show ALL the qualities of the jerk (leadership, spontaneity, social dominance and humor) without being the wussy nice guy that typically repulses women.
In other words, you can use your conversation skills to playfully tease a woman, while keeping the comfort level she would find with "The Nice Guy".
This is called "Assumed Familiarity". Here you'll act like her buddy by teasing her in a friendly manner, but at the same time, you're subtly showing her attractive qualities that she wants in a man.
Now this can be a hard concept for many guys to grasp. It's pretty hard to strike that delicate balance between the jerk and nice guy. Most of it involves creating emotional attraction without being perceived as being a jerk.
This is a question you've probably asked yourself many times in your life. And you might even wonder why women will dump a guy who treats her good, only to go after an arrogant dick!
It seems like guys complain about this problem all the time. I have heard it many times. One of my best guy friends is always whining about how all girls want is to be his friend.
Usually he'll complain about treating a woman REALLY well, but losing her to some schmuck who'll only ends up mistreating her.
So why does this happen?
Well that's a difficult question to answer. The answer is jerks are NOT boring. And there's an interesting explanation of why this is true. But before we get to that, let's talk about the OPPOSITE of the jerk- "The Nice Guy".
In a lot of the chick flicks, "The Nice Guy" was the sweet, caring dude who secretly wanted to be with the Prom Queen. He's clueless with women, but has a heart of gold. And at the very end, the popular girl realizes how wonderful he is AND they live happily ever after.
Unfortunately life doesn't work this way!
In the REAL WORLD, a overly-friendly, nice guy bores the crap out of women. When dealing with a woman, he takes on the role of her friend and listens to her problems and hopes that someday she'll want to be with him instead of the jerk that just broke her heart.
The problem is nice guys reach women on a LOGICAL level, instead of an EMOTIONAL level. He may make a great FRIEND, but he's doing nothing to create sexual attraction.
Women end up with jerks because they provide an emotional charge. Sure he can act like an asshole and hurt her feelings, but he ALSO provides excitement AND arousal. Around a jerk, a woman never really knows what to expect. All she feels is the butterflies and excitement when he is near.
Now there's good news here...EVERY woman has dated a jerk at some point in her life. And from this experience, she's learned that it's not healthy to be around a man like this. However MOST women want that emotional charge WITHOUT the baggage that a jerk often provides. Not an easy task.
In short, she wants a man who is compassionate, but also a little bit of a bad boy.
By understanding a woman's desire for an emotional experience, you provide her with the perfect balance between 'The Nice Guy' and the jerk. When you're talking to women, you want to show ALL the qualities of the jerk (leadership, spontaneity, social dominance and humor) without being the wussy nice guy that typically repulses women.
In other words, you can use your conversation skills to playfully tease a woman, while keeping the comfort level she would find with "The Nice Guy".
This is called "Assumed Familiarity". Here you'll act like her buddy by teasing her in a friendly manner, but at the same time, you're subtly showing her attractive qualities that she wants in a man.
Now this can be a hard concept for many guys to grasp. It's pretty hard to strike that delicate balance between the jerk and nice guy. Most of it involves creating emotional attraction without being perceived as being a jerk.
Monday, January 3, 2011
How to Call a Girl You Like
Rule number one, less is more. Trust me, an attractive quality girl gets called and texted a lot. She has experienced lots of guys who go overboard and present no challenge at all. It's really easy for a hot girl to attract men. It's not so easy for an attractive, hot, quality girl to find a guy that piques her interest. Trust me on this. This is critical especially in the beginning stages. This is when the attraction starts or stops.
Click Here to get over 101 proven flirty text messages
When texting and calling girls, if you go overboard, she is going to see you as desperate. You want to convey you have a life and although you like her, she is not the center of your world. Women love a mystery. When calling girls or texting girls, the less you do it, the more her imagination goes into play and the more mysterious you will be. Mystery builds attraction. I don't mean go days or weeks without calling, that is just plain stupid. If you really like her though, your instinct leads you to call her more. Resist this. Call her less.
Ever noticed how it seems the less interesting not so high quality girls seem to fall all over you at times. Think about it. How are you texting them? Probably not so enthusiastically. This intrigues them and they want you more. So when calling a girl that you like or that is hot or high quality do it as if she was just another ordinary girl you aren't so into.
Click Here to get over 101 proven flirty text messages
Rule number 2, don't call or text her and have nothing to say. You want to make her smile. You want her to associate your calls and texts with positive feelings. You want to create an anchor to these positive feelings. The anchor is going to be the phone ringing and her seeing your name pop up. Don't bore her, be funny and confident. If you don't have a lot to say, well get off the phone or stop texting. End the conversation, have your escape route already in place before you call. This also puts mystery into it when you end the conversation first. Leave her wanting more.
Now confidence is a big thing when calling a girl. If you are calling all the time again, this is not good. It shows her you aren't confident enough in yourself and that you need her constant validation. That is why less is more. If you call every other day for example, well apparently you are confident in yourself, otherwise you would be ringing her phone off the hook. Sometimes it's more in what you don't say or do that speaks the volumes.
When calling a girl or texting a girl, remember, she is just a girl. If she is a high quality girl or hot girl, well she is still just a girl. This is the attitude to have. Remember that women do like a challenge, so don't be too easy. The key is to get her thinking about you. You want to master the calling and texting girls to get her to think about you when you aren't around. Once a girl starts thinking about you, well she is hooked.
Your cell phone is without a doubt your best dating tool. You can use it to build some intense attraction or you can pour cold water all over her. Click Here to get over 101 proven flirty text messages
Click Here to get over 101 proven flirty text messages
When texting and calling girls, if you go overboard, she is going to see you as desperate. You want to convey you have a life and although you like her, she is not the center of your world. Women love a mystery. When calling girls or texting girls, the less you do it, the more her imagination goes into play and the more mysterious you will be. Mystery builds attraction. I don't mean go days or weeks without calling, that is just plain stupid. If you really like her though, your instinct leads you to call her more. Resist this. Call her less.
Ever noticed how it seems the less interesting not so high quality girls seem to fall all over you at times. Think about it. How are you texting them? Probably not so enthusiastically. This intrigues them and they want you more. So when calling a girl that you like or that is hot or high quality do it as if she was just another ordinary girl you aren't so into.
Click Here to get over 101 proven flirty text messages
Rule number 2, don't call or text her and have nothing to say. You want to make her smile. You want her to associate your calls and texts with positive feelings. You want to create an anchor to these positive feelings. The anchor is going to be the phone ringing and her seeing your name pop up. Don't bore her, be funny and confident. If you don't have a lot to say, well get off the phone or stop texting. End the conversation, have your escape route already in place before you call. This also puts mystery into it when you end the conversation first. Leave her wanting more.
Now confidence is a big thing when calling a girl. If you are calling all the time again, this is not good. It shows her you aren't confident enough in yourself and that you need her constant validation. That is why less is more. If you call every other day for example, well apparently you are confident in yourself, otherwise you would be ringing her phone off the hook. Sometimes it's more in what you don't say or do that speaks the volumes.
When calling a girl or texting a girl, remember, she is just a girl. If she is a high quality girl or hot girl, well she is still just a girl. This is the attitude to have. Remember that women do like a challenge, so don't be too easy. The key is to get her thinking about you. You want to master the calling and texting girls to get her to think about you when you aren't around. Once a girl starts thinking about you, well she is hooked.
Your cell phone is without a doubt your best dating tool. You can use it to build some intense attraction or you can pour cold water all over her. Click Here to get over 101 proven flirty text messages
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