Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What Do Women Really Want in a Man

So what do women want in a man. Women are emotional creatures and first you need to understand the we are not visually stimulated. Not that a handsome face won't catch our eye, but he could open his mouth and blow it all in the first sentence. A lot of men lack the confidence it takes to really get attention. Confidence is the number one thing women want in a man. There is nothing sexier than a confident man.

Now I am a woman and I recently signed up to an on line dating site. Now first you have to decide do you want a great woman or a desperate woman and I think you know the answer to that. I consider myself far from desperate, so let me first tell you what a confident, smart woman does on an on line dating site and in all areas for that matter. First she looks at your picture, then she reads your profile. Great women rarely contact you first.

Now day one, tons of hits. I weed through them, if there is no profile, I delete. If the profile talks about how you are looking for your soul mate, I delete, not that I am not looking for mine as well. It just sounds wimpy. Now I read the messages. How are you today? Delete. How is your day? Delete. What are you looking for in a man? Delete. What do you do for fun? Delete. Good morning beautiful or sexy. Delete. Can I have your phone number? Delete. The days is over and one guy survived the cut, the one guy that was funny, confident and the one guy that obviously took the time to get past the picture and read my profile. The one guy that made me smile instead of roll my eyes. Now what was it about that one guy that made me not delete? It wasn't his looks, he was average. It was his confidence and humor and the fact that he did not act desperate that came through in his messages.

Women don't like wimpy, mushy or over accommodating. Men often try to sell themselves by telling what they have, what they can offer, like honesty, love, devotion. Sure we want that, but that is not what is going to attract us to you so that we can discover your wonderful qualities without you having to tell us about them. What I mentioned above holds true in the real dating world as well as the on line dating world. Its about how you flirt with us and make us wanting more, whether its a direct approach, a text message or the way you ask us for a date. So what do women want in a man? We want someone fun who knows how to use body language and verbal language to get a woman's attention.

I am a female who has studied the way men and women interact for years. There are a lot of great men out there not getting the woman that they want because they are going at it all wrong. They don't understand what truly attracts a woman and make her dying to see you again and hang on your every word. There are skills and techniques that you can use that get you in the door and keep you in the door. Stop being the guy that turns into that great woman's friend and learn how to attract women and keep the attraction going. I speak for all the great ladies out there doing the single ladies dance.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last

Drama Queens excluded, yes women like nice guys. We just don't like doormats. Doormats meaning the men that try to be what they think we want. Confidence is the key word here. A man who knows what he wants, knows himself and likes himself. The man that makes us feel he can hold his own with grace. That is the man that makes a woman feel safe. A nice guy can be these things. So do nice guys finish last? No, I think not.

Then there are the men that try to sell themselves. They tell you all of their features and benefits. They tell you how they know how to treat a woman. Most of us women already learned not to put too much stock into a man's words, but to watch their actions and how they treat us. If they say they are going to call and don't, well the action said way more than the words. The action said we really aren't that important.

If that is the message you are trying to convey, fine, some drama queen will love you. Go find her. They are everywhere. I am writing this assuming you want a healthy stable relationship. A smart, emotionally balanced woman will not like a jerk, she will go with the nice guy providing he can stimulate her on an emotional level.

So how do you attract these smarter, balanced women? Do you have to play games? Well maybe not games, but being overly available and calling her 12 times a day and texting lame messages will begin to annoy her for sure. Please tell me you don't text her good morning beautiful, or sexy or something similar shortly after meeting her. Most of us roll our eyes at that because it happens all the time. You are not standing out. If you are going to send a text, by all means be creative and witty. Don't be like all the other guys.

Be a nice guy, but don't be one of the nice guys that finish last.

There are many creative ways to meet and attract women and still be a nice guy and not finish last. There is online dating, there is the cell phone which is a huge tool for you dating life. What you text and what you say when you use that phone can make or break an attraction. Learn to use these tools so that you will not be one of those nice guys that finish last.