Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Calling and Texting Women You Like - This is Critical

When texting or calling a girl you like it's critical that you don't go over board and kill her attraction. Your instinct when you meet a girl that you really like is to reach out and touch her. You want to communicate with her because face it, it feels good. If you want to build attraction though and an emotional connection when texting a girl you like, it's very important that you go easy boy.

An example. Cindy met Don. They really hit if off. Don got Cindy's number and asked her out. They had the first date and there was some mutual chemistry, lots of it. Next morning Don sends Cindy a harmless text. "Good Morning Beautiful". Cindy thinks aw, how sweet. 5 minutes later, he texts her what a great time he had. She still thinks aw, how sweet.

The day goes on, Don sends more texts, tries to engage her in conversation. Wow, Cindy is now wondering if Don isn't maybe a little needy, maybe even desperate. That night he texts her "Good night Sweetie". Her attraction just dropped a few degrees. Women do like to be challenged. When you come running out of the gate full speed ahead, well you took away any challenge or intrigue she might have felt.

She stills gives him the benefit of the doubt and sees him again, but to her horror, the texts just keep getting closer and closer together. The funny sexy guy has turned annoying on her. When texting a girl you like, you want to be flirty, you want to be fun and you don't want to be annoying.

I know you want her to know you are interested and you think those texts are showing her you like her. The fact is all they are showing her is you don't have a life and you are boring. She starts to not answer all of Don's texts, then he starts questioning her. "Are you upset?" "Do you not want to talk to me today?" Texts that show him in a very unattractive not so confident light.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. Cindy has the talk. She tells Don she just wants to be friends. She tells her girlfriends that if he would have just not texted her so much, maybe she would have given him a chance.

Had Don known some really good flirty techniques, this story might have a different ending. Unfortunately, Don is off to repeat the same mistake with the next girl he likes. Texting is a huge attraction killer, but it can be an equally destructive buzz killer. When texting a girl you like, less really is more.

I have swooned and been swooned by some really skilled texters. I have hung on their every text and I have also cringed at the sound of the phone.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Be The Jerk Women Love

Why do women love jerks?

This is a question you've probably asked yourself many times in your life. And you might even wonder why women will dump a guy who treats her good, only to go after an arrogant dick!

It seems like guys complain about this problem all the time. I have heard it many times. One of my best guy friends is always whining about how all girls want is to be his friend.
Usually he'll complain about treating a woman REALLY well, but losing her to some schmuck who'll only ends up mistreating her.

So why does this happen?

Well that's a difficult question to answer. The answer is jerks are NOT boring. And there's an interesting explanation of why this is true. But before we get to that, let's talk about the OPPOSITE of the jerk- "The Nice Guy".

In a lot of the chick flicks, "The Nice Guy" was the sweet, caring dude who secretly wanted to be with the Prom Queen. He's clueless with women, but has a heart of gold. And at the very end, the popular girl realizes how wonderful he is AND they live happily ever after.

Unfortunately life doesn't work this way!

In the REAL WORLD, a overly-friendly, nice guy bores the crap out of women. When dealing with a woman, he takes on the role of her friend and listens to her problems and hopes that someday she'll want to be with him instead of the jerk that just broke her heart.

The problem is nice guys reach women on a LOGICAL level, instead of an EMOTIONAL level. He may make a great FRIEND, but he's doing nothing to create sexual attraction.

Women end up with jerks because they provide an emotional charge. Sure he can act like an asshole and hurt her feelings, but he ALSO provides excitement AND arousal. Around a jerk, a woman never really knows what to expect. All she feels is the butterflies and excitement when he is near.

Now there's good news here...EVERY woman has dated a jerk at some point in her life. And from this experience, she's learned that it's not healthy to be around a man like this. However MOST women want that emotional charge WITHOUT the baggage that a jerk often provides. Not an easy task.

In short, she wants a man who is compassionate, but also a little bit of a bad boy.

By understanding a woman's desire for an emotional experience, you provide her with the perfect balance between 'The Nice Guy' and the jerk. When you're talking to women, you want to show ALL the qualities of the jerk (leadership, spontaneity, social dominance and humor) without being the wussy nice guy that typically repulses women.

In other words, you can use your conversation skills to playfully tease a woman, while keeping the comfort level she would find with "The Nice Guy".

This is called "Assumed Familiarity". Here you'll act like her buddy by teasing her in a friendly manner, but at the same time, you're subtly showing her attractive qualities that she wants in a man.

Now this can be a hard concept for many guys to grasp. It's pretty hard to strike that delicate balance between the jerk and nice guy. Most of it involves creating emotional attraction without being perceived as being a jerk.

Monday, January 3, 2011

How to Call a Girl You Like

Rule number one, less is more. Trust me, an attractive quality girl gets called and texted a lot. She has experienced lots of guys who go overboard and present no challenge at all. It's really easy for a hot girl to attract men. It's not so easy for an attractive, hot, quality girl to find a guy that piques her interest. Trust me on this. This is critical especially in the beginning stages. This is when the attraction starts or stops.

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When texting and calling girls, if you go overboard, she is going to see you as desperate. You want to convey you have a life and although you like her, she is not the center of your world. Women love a mystery. When calling girls or texting girls, the less you do it, the more her imagination goes into play and the more mysterious you will be. Mystery builds attraction. I don't mean go days or weeks without calling, that is just plain stupid. If you really like her though, your instinct leads you to call her more. Resist this. Call her less.

Ever noticed how it seems the less interesting not so high quality girls seem to fall all over you at times. Think about it. How are you texting them? Probably not so enthusiastically. This intrigues them and they want you more. So when calling a girl that you like or that is hot or high quality do it as if she was just another ordinary girl you aren't so into.

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Rule number 2, don't call or text her and have nothing to say. You want to make her smile. You want her to associate your calls and texts with positive feelings. You want to create an anchor to these positive feelings. The anchor is going to be the phone ringing and her seeing your name pop up. Don't bore her, be funny and confident. If you don't have a lot to say, well get off the phone or stop texting. End the conversation, have your escape route already in place before you call. This also puts mystery into it when you end the conversation first. Leave her wanting more.

Now confidence is a big thing when calling a girl. If you are calling all the time again, this is not good. It shows her you aren't confident enough in yourself and that you need her constant validation. That is why less is more. If you call every other day for example, well apparently you are confident in yourself, otherwise you would be ringing her phone off the hook. Sometimes it's more in what you don't say or do that speaks the volumes.

When calling a girl or texting a girl, remember, she is just a girl. If she is a high quality girl or hot girl, well she is still just a girl. This is the attitude to have. Remember that women do like a challenge, so don't be too easy. The key is to get her thinking about you. You want to master the calling and texting girls to get her to think about you when you aren't around. Once a girl starts thinking about you, well she is hooked.

Your cell phone is without a doubt your best dating tool. You can use it to build some intense attraction or you can pour cold water all over her. Click Here to get over 101 proven flirty text messages