Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Be The Jerk Women Love

Why do women love jerks?

This is a question you've probably asked yourself many times in your life. And you might even wonder why women will dump a guy who treats her good, only to go after an arrogant dick!

It seems like guys complain about this problem all the time. I have heard it many times. One of my best guy friends is always whining about how all girls want is to be his friend.
Usually he'll complain about treating a woman REALLY well, but losing her to some schmuck who'll only ends up mistreating her.

So why does this happen?

Well that's a difficult question to answer. The answer is jerks are NOT boring. And there's an interesting explanation of why this is true. But before we get to that, let's talk about the OPPOSITE of the jerk- "The Nice Guy".

In a lot of the chick flicks, "The Nice Guy" was the sweet, caring dude who secretly wanted to be with the Prom Queen. He's clueless with women, but has a heart of gold. And at the very end, the popular girl realizes how wonderful he is AND they live happily ever after.

Unfortunately life doesn't work this way!

In the REAL WORLD, a overly-friendly, nice guy bores the crap out of women. When dealing with a woman, he takes on the role of her friend and listens to her problems and hopes that someday she'll want to be with him instead of the jerk that just broke her heart.

The problem is nice guys reach women on a LOGICAL level, instead of an EMOTIONAL level. He may make a great FRIEND, but he's doing nothing to create sexual attraction.

Women end up with jerks because they provide an emotional charge. Sure he can act like an asshole and hurt her feelings, but he ALSO provides excitement AND arousal. Around a jerk, a woman never really knows what to expect. All she feels is the butterflies and excitement when he is near.

Now there's good news here...EVERY woman has dated a jerk at some point in her life. And from this experience, she's learned that it's not healthy to be around a man like this. However MOST women want that emotional charge WITHOUT the baggage that a jerk often provides. Not an easy task.

In short, she wants a man who is compassionate, but also a little bit of a bad boy.

By understanding a woman's desire for an emotional experience, you provide her with the perfect balance between 'The Nice Guy' and the jerk. When you're talking to women, you want to show ALL the qualities of the jerk (leadership, spontaneity, social dominance and humor) without being the wussy nice guy that typically repulses women.

In other words, you can use your conversation skills to playfully tease a woman, while keeping the comfort level she would find with "The Nice Guy".

This is called "Assumed Familiarity". Here you'll act like her buddy by teasing her in a friendly manner, but at the same time, you're subtly showing her attractive qualities that she wants in a man.

Now this can be a hard concept for many guys to grasp. It's pretty hard to strike that delicate balance between the jerk and nice guy. Most of it involves creating emotional attraction without being perceived as being a jerk.

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