Friday, August 5, 2011

What Turns Women On!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

How To Find Love - Throw Away That Stupid List

Do you want to find love with a great woman? You wonder what list I am talking about? That stupid list in your head that you have of what the woman is supposed to be like, look like and all of that stuff. It's limiting your success at getting what you want and deserve.

I know men who are very specific in their lists. She can't smoke, she must exercise, she must be under 130 pounds, she must be this or that. She can't do this or that. These lists and expectations are killing you, trust me.

I have known men who have the silliest deal breakers. Don't get me wrong, women have them too. Things like she must love animals though? If she doesn't love animals she must be a bad person. Here is a fact, we don't know why people like or don't like certain things until we give them a chance and get to know them.

Example about the not loving animals thing. I am not an animal lover. There is a reason. As a child my mother took all of my animals and dropped them off in random places because she didn't like animals. As a child I learned that to attach to animals was pointless because they would vanish. Does that make me a bad person? Well many a man would not date me, yet they didn't know the entire story because they didn't give me a chance. I have a cat now by the way an am considering a dog.

Love does not always come in the package you had expected. I am not suggesting you settle, no far from it. I am suggesting you may not be able to recognize it if you are one of these people with a list or must haves. Add you list to your fear of rejection or your past experiences that may be clouding you ability to know it when it comes your way and you will never know how to find love.

I am a huge advocate of online dating. I have many a success story of how love was found online. Thing is, men carry that list with them to the online dating and fail again and then blame the women. Do you ever hear yourself saying women only want the bad boys? If so, you might want to rethink this. It's not true. I could go on and on. I do however, believe women do the same things. It's a wonder we ever get together.

If you want to know how to find love, open up to new possibilities. I have a client, he is a biker dude. He was wanting of course a biker chick. The biker chicks just wanted to ride his Harley. I encouraged him to start mailing different types of women. He resisted me in the beginning. Guess what kind of woman he is now in a relationship with? A book worm who has never been on the back of a Harley. They look like a mighty odd couple, but are blissfully happy. Lucky for him this woman was willing to throw away her list as well, but he did have to put some work into her. He says she is worth it all.

Another thing I have to mention if you are looking for love is this. You may need to search inside yourself and make some attitude changes. Men for some reason resist this more so than women. I have proof of this by the way. Women come to me way quicker for help than men do. There are resources out there, really good ones to help you online. Invest in them, do the work. It pays off.

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If you are doing online dating and you just tossed a profile up there, with your list of great qualities and the qualities of your dream woman, don't expect a lot. You really do get back what you put into things. If you want to find love, take it serious. It's not going to come knocking on your door. You have to do some work.

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Monday, July 11, 2011

Sexting Tips - How to Sext Her Into Bed

First, this is geared towards married men or men already in a relationship. Of course the principles will work for men in general wanting to get laid, but that is not something I am a huge advocate, but to each his own.

So often I hear men say or joke about how their women just don't seem to want to have sex like they did when they first met. This happens. The honeymoon phase wears off. It takes more to get the woman turned on. Ever made a move towards your girlfriend or wife to have her go a bit cold or tell you she is tired. She hates doing this, trust me, but she really doesn't feel like it. Does she not initiate or rarely initiate sex anymore? This is really a shame because it doesn't have to be this way, but I can tell you why.

Stress, day to day life gets in the way. A woman's desire sort of goes to sleep. They aren't going to just wake up all on their own, you are going to have to help her some. You need to wake her up.

Men can go from zero to 100 in just minutes because they are visually stimulated. I could walk out of the bedroom with panties on or just heels and my boyfriend would be sitting on ready. It would be instant because men are visually stimulated. This is not the case with women, we aren't visually stimulated.

You can send flowers or buy her gifts, but this isn't going to work either. She is touched and thinks it's sweet, but her carnal sex drive it will not awaken. A woman is stimulated by what she feels and imagines. Her erogenous zone is her mind. Her mind is her biggest sex organ.

What turns a woman on? A man is turned on by porn for the most part. A picture of a man with this raging hard on is not what gets a woman excited and dying to jump your bones. Have you ever read those crazy romance novels? I have. I am not a fan of them, but I will confess, I have become soaking wet from the language that is used in them and the pictures they create in my imagination.

So how to you do this by sexting? You stimulate her biggest sex organ, her mind, imagination and how she feels. By doing this you give her permission to open up her desires to you. Desires that may embarrass her or that she may find difficult to share. If you are the one stimulating her imagination and helping her create these pictures, yes by a few texts, you can turn your sex life around. You can have her dying to get her hands on you regardless.

I recently got a sext message from a guy who has read the sexting book. A few lines flipped my stressed out switch from off to on. He sent this one message. "I can't stop thinking about you this morning". I replied "Why" Now he could have been crude, or highly sexual, but he didn't. He played with my imagination and let me lead the fantasy from there after a few texts. He replied to my why with this. "Your looked delicious in my shirt this morning".

I won't share the rest of this conversation, but let's just say, it escalated. He opened the door and gave me permission so to speak to be bad. If you don't think you can text your woman into bed, I got news for you, you can. Just not like you may think. Sexting tips for men are far different than sexting tips for women, trust me on this one.

Text her into bed tonight.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

I coach mostly women, I won't lie. I have helped many get their ex boyfriends back by helping them understand how men think. So it's a given I suppose that I already know how women think, plus my ex boyfriend just got me back, so I suppose I can shed a little light here for you.

Generally speaking, I believe exes are exes for a reason, but if you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back, I will tell you how my ex boyfriend did it.

I broke up with him. He lost his job, he was smothering me to death, and he was holding onto me for dear life. I cut all contact and if he dared to contact, lets say I was less than nice. He was driving me crazy.

So he had to give up or so I thought. He eventually respected my requests and left me alone. He took that time to think about things. He could have said I was cruel to cut him lose at his worst time in his life, but he didn't. He took that time to understand the dynamics and why it panicked me so bad and why I couldn't be a stand by your man woman.

You see, it goes back to the beginning of time. Men are hunters and providers, women are nurturers etc. My survival instinct kicked in and I did not see him as a suitable mate. Your issue may be different and not even close to ours, but stay with me here.

With all the feminist crap and all going on, and I am not knocking it, don't get me wrong. I am queen of independence, but it confuses our God given roles. Basically we women have needs that we want met, the main one being we want to feel safe with you. There are others of course, but safe and protected are high on the list.

Women grieve heavy in the beginning and while I suggest giving her space in the beginning, you can't wait too long to make your move. When a woman moves on, she moves on. She doesn't look back, because she reaches a point where instinct kicks in and she wants a mate that comes after her.

My ex got his crap together and showed up 5 months later. He would send a ping here and there but stopped driving me crazy. It gave me time to process and when he came back, he had fixed what was wrong and was in a place to listen to what I needed from him. Funny thing happened too during our time apart. I never really thought much about him. I was good with him being gone. I wasn't crying and thought, really thought I had done the best thing. But, and here is the but, I didn't really know how strongly I did feel. I had no clue. He had to remind me.

That is what you have to do. Figure out what it is that made her not feel safe, fix it, wait and come back and remind her.

I have to give my ex this credit as well. In his mind he never gave up. His attitude remained positive that he would have me back one day. I think attitude has a lot to do with is success at it. That and his courage that I could have shot him down. He showed up unexpected, completely caught me off guard. I could have cussed him out and that is truly how I would predict it go down, but it didn't. I hugged him instead and the rest is history in the makings.

He never tried to make me feel bad, he never used emotional blackmail on me, he took it like a man and waited for the timing to be right. If you love her, you have to be patient to get her back. No manipulation, no attacks, no making her feel guilt. Those things won't win her back.


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Monday, June 20, 2011

Nice Guys Finish Last

Oh the times I have heard that statement. Nice guys finish last. Why is it that this seems to be the general opinion? I hear it from nice guys all the time. Women would rather be with a man that treats her like crap, hits her, talks her down than a guy who treats her good. I can see some justification in this, yes I can. I see it too in some women, but those aren't the kind of women you want, trust me. Think about it. A woman that allows a man to treat her bad is in a way just as responsible for it as the man treating her bad. Do you really want a woman that has no more love for herself than this? She needs some help that you probably can't give her. Some may slap me for this, but sorry, women have control over how they are treated. They don't have to accept this bad guys into their lives.

So that being said, maybe you nice guys aren't really looking for the nice girls? Is that a possibility? Do you have all these standards in place such as she has to be this height, this weight, she has to be this, she has to be that etc. Are you missing some of the good girls with your criteria or high expectations?

I am a part of few online communities. One where they train the nice guys to be players or pick up artist. Now I know many look down on this, but a funny thing happens to these guys going through this training. They learn what goes on in a woman's mind and they learn how to push her emotional buttons to trigger attraction. Some call it game playing. Bottom line. I have met quite a few of these guys that went through this so called bogus training and let me tell you, they did get it. Not "it", but they finally understood how women form and keep an attraction for a man. A lot of these men have met and now have long term lasting relationships as opposed to a lot of one night stands. They learn how to be a nice guy with that extra edge.

I deal with mostly women so let me tell you why they say nice guys finish last. The attraction isn't usually there with the nice guys. They talk about going on dates, what a nice guy he is but there is no click. Why is this, why can't they like a nice guy? Could this nice guy not really understand what it is that creates attraction in a woman. Trust me, you can be a nice guy and still drive a girl wild. Do nice guys finish last? No, they don't.

Monday, June 13, 2011

My Girlfriend Wants a Break

If your girlfriend wants a break, I only know one way to put this too you and that is straight up. There is a break up ahead if you don't give it to her. If you are saying to your friends or searching this "My girlfriend wants a break", there is trouble ahead.

When your girlfriend wants a break or asks for space what she is saying is she is feeling smothered by you. You are possibly heading somewhere too fast or too soon. I hate to say this part too, but sometimes another guy has caught her attention and she wants the space to explore this but doesn't want to tell you. Cop out? Maybe.

Six months ago I told my boyfriend of 6 months I wanted space. Some of the things he was doing was constantly texting me, wanting to talk every night on the phone, which meant my life as I knew it before was being interrupted. I like my nights out with the girls. He didn't mind that so much, but he wanted to talk to me and would call or text while I was out. I drove me crazy. Thing is he was a great guy.

My love language was different. I need space, I need my other life outside of him and his clinging to me was making me feel quilt and I felt reponsible for his happiness. It became not so fun and it started to bleed over to when we were together.

I asked for space. I explained to him I wouldn't always answer texts or calls if I was working or out having a one on one with my girlfriends, but would call him back. I wanted him to trust me on this. We want to be trusted just like you guys do. By him continuing to push, I didn't feel trusted.

I broke up with him because he wasn't getting it. For the first month after the break up, he kept on pushing. He was coming from a place of his pain. He wanted answers. He didn't understand. The more he did this, the more he validated for me that breaking up with him was a good thing.

About month number 2 or 3, he started stopping contact after eventually I had to get pretty rough and threaten to block him or report him for harassment. I understood he was acting from a place of emotion and not logic, but it wasn't getting him anywhere, he was still smothering me and not respecting my wishes and decision.

Month 4 he stopped all contact. I sort of just forgot about him, but often thought of how much I knew he loved me. Still I pushed it out of my mind as I did not want to go down that road again of having to ask him for a break and fighting that battle again. I was convinced I made the right choice to end it.

Month 6, he shows up after no contact for over 60 days, none, nada zilch. When I saw him all I remembered was the good times to be honest and I was very happy to see him. Very unexpected on my part. His emotions had time to calm. He was more able to see it clearly from my point and I was more clearly to see it from his.

We are talking again. We made a stride towards one another. Had he not crowded me in the fist place and given me, his girlfriend a break, we would very possibly never broke up to start with.

Moral of this story, if your girlfriend asks for space or if you are saying to others my girlfriend wants a break, give it to her. Let her miss you because chances are good she will. Don't question her about it, just accept it and give it to her. You stand a much better chance of keeping her if you do. If you fight it, you will lose her.

So if your girlfriend wants a break, take the time to understand the whys of this, take the precautions to stop that break up that is ahead.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Love Systems Review

I research many of the dating products out there and recently landed on a forum called "The Attraction Forum". Wow, is all I can say. There are guys there of all ages giving excellent advice and support. The product in my opinion are very realistic and I wish all men would put forth the effort that these guys do to up their dating game.

This isn't like the Don Juan group that seems to promote downgrading women. These guys know their stuff and teach guys how to approach, meet, and keep women. The forum is free and packed with useful information.

The best seller is an e-book called Magic Bullets. It's the basics and well worth the investment especially to those nice guys who get caught in the friend zone.