Thursday, May 27, 2010

Texting Blunders that Kill the Attraction

I know a woman who is queen of sorry's; constantly apologizing for who she is, sweet sweet woman though. You cannot do this in life, and especially not in texting. I am not talking about being late and not apologizing for it. I am talking about the incessant use of sorrys to be accepted by others. This is just ugly in text and makes you look very weak. What if instead of saying sorry you actually said, "I am pathetic, please like me" or "please accept me, I am your personal slave."

Would this kind of person seem attractive to you? Would you want to be friends or lovers with this person? 90% of the time, when you use "Sorry" it is inappropriate. So stop it!!

The "just kidding or also known as jk, is just as pathetic.This is something that took me forever to learn, simply because I was so afraid of losing someone's approval. Think about how many times you have said something funny, slightly rude, to be playful but pulled it back. You know what you said... the horribly weak comment, "just kidding." It is soft weak and slightly repulsive. Why do you say this?? Why is nearly everything you write

tempered with weak comments like "just kidding" or "sorry about that?" Just cut to the chase and say, "I am really weak and I need to be approved of, so every time we interact I am going to apologize for my existence."

Pathetic:

Jen: Hey, I just got my schedule I am free Friday and Monday

Mike: You want to go out Friday?? Don't you have a date that night?

Jen: Yeah... with you! Where are you going to take me?

Mike: Take you??? You asked Meee! I think you should be taking me out to dinner!

Jen: I only buy dinner for cute guys, not rude ones! JK

Did you catch that? That little JK at the end of the text? This is like a dingy towed behind a yacht. Jen was doing so well too! It is as if she was pumping up the tire of interest and pow, she let all the air out with the pin of JK. These are softeners that communicate you are playing. JK and Sorry communicates that you are weak and unsure of yourself. The last thing you want to do in text or in person.

Now the lol. Word of caution, don't overuse lol and =). If you do they lose their effectiveness. There is a guy on Facebook that puts this after every comment. It becomes like an obnoxious giggle after a while; no substance, just space filler. It is almost as obnoxious as me using exclamation points all the time! OR TYPING IN CAPS ALL THE TIME.

When texting girls, remember it is not about getting her to like you, it's more about challenging her. If you can challenge her, you will have her undivided attention.

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Texting is the number one tool in the dating world now, that can't be denied. Even baby boomers use it. There are many skills you can develop with this tool that can charge your dating life up to exciting levels.

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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Top Texting Tips for Texting Girls

One of the best things about texting a girl is that you have time to craft what you are going to say. Put extra time in here and think about what it is that you want to say. Don't just shoot off some senseless text like "Good Morning". Take an extra minute and plan what kind of response you want to get and pose your words accordingly.

Texting is a conversation in slow motion. This is the best way to handle it. In other words, don't be sitting there ready to fire off a response immediately after receiving a text. Texting back immediately is a huge texting no no. It conveys need and to be needy is the biggest dating buzz kill. It makes you think seriously does he have his phone clued on, I mean really, is he even taking it into the bathroom. Does he not have a life? Does he hang on my every word. So not attractive.

Another big texting tip for dating is if you don't get a reply to a text you sent, don't send another one. This shows desperation. If I don't reply usually I am busy. I will reply later, sometimes a day later. This builds the attraction actually. Silence is very powerful. The imagination will generate many scenarios as to what the other person is doing during this silence. Then when the reply does come, she is relieved and adrenaline is released. A bit of an emotional roller coaster ride you take her on.

Think long term satisfaction, not instant gratification. Texting is a way to keep some one at a distance. Keep a person at a distance long enough and human nature takes over. The person being kept at a distance now wants to move closer. When texting a girl, remember anticipation is the key. Make sure you build on this anticipation and you will can build a deep attraction when texting girls.

I have a few guys in my phone. Most girls do. Out of all the guys that I have had in my phone, I can honestly say that very few of them had mastered this skill. The ones that had got my attention. This is universally true with women. With such an important part in our dating skills, shouldn't you learn to utilize text messaging to the max?

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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Texting a Girl, What Message are You Sending?

Let's say you text a girl good morning. What she feels when you do this is "wow" he must really be into me to be texting a girl first thing in the morning. If you do this every morning, she is going to come to expect it, or she could very well tire of it. Most girls like an occasional "Good Morning" text, but less is more really. Don't do it every day, she will see you as too available, and nothing kills attraction like being too available.

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When texting girls, also what are you saying. Are you calling her beautiful? Using the same old lines we hear over and over. If I get one more "Hello Beautiful", I personally just might scream. We girls roll our eyes and think, can't he be original? Is this the best he can do?

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When texting a girl, don't go overboard. Don't do it too often. When you are constantly texting, again she sees you as maybe desperate, needy and too availble. Girls like guys, enjoy a challenge. Be unpredictable, this puts her on that roller coaster ride of adrenaline surges. If she never knows when or what to expect with your text messages, the attraction tension in heightened.

When texting girls, be fun, flirty, and a bit unpredictable. Keep her guessing. Make her smile, and be original. Put some thought into what you say and when you say it. If you have a great text message in your mind that you want to send, wait, hold onto it. In other words, don't be so anxious to hit the send button.

Dating now is evolving. Text messaging is the biggest tool available to gain and heighten attraction. I have seen guys turn their dating life around by learning to use this tool to their advantage. Knowing the buttons and triggers of women and how to push them via text messaging can triple your dating success.

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Friday, March 19, 2010

Dreadful Dating

I am an active member on a ladies forum. Hundreds if not thousands of women communicate daily from all over the world on this board. A topic that comes up often is online dating and the frustrations we feel. Below is just on of hundreds of excerpts from this board regarding men and online dating.



Yes...I can imagine a guy taking his Match.com picture. He takes 20 different pictures. Then out of those 20 pictures, not to mention all the other pictures he has had taken of him in his 30 years of existence, he chooses the one that is the most out of focus, with the camera up his nostrils, with the color totally off, where you can still see his arm in the picture, with him scowling like a serial rapist, to be his main photo to attract women with online.

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Seriously....how can SO MANY MEN be SO CLUELESS? Can't they tell what a decent picture of them is versus a not so decent picture? I would never put a picture up on Match.com that I would be afraid to frame and put on my dresser. So why do guys, in what is supposed to be an ADVERTISEMENT for themselves to potentially find the love of their life, or at the very least someone to have sex with, pick the most horrid, unflattering pictures to represent themselves with?

Or there's 5 pictures of them in a group, where you can't even tell which guy is which. Or there's pictures with their ex-girlfriend, where they've clearly tried to crop her out...but missed her shoulder or her arm. Or there's 10 pictures of sunsets and beaches, not to mention their car or bicycle, and pet dog, but not a SINGLE PICTURE of their face!

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And so many profiles are three sentences long and say absolutely nothing about themselves or what they want. "I'm a laid-back, fun-loving, nice guy who is fun to be around. Looking for an adventurous, attractive girl, who is fun to hang out with and likes doing cool stuff." Really? I think the guy might be, like 18, who wrote it, and then I look at the age and he's 38. Really? At the age of 38, this is all you have to say about yourself?

And guys complain that girls don't write to them and they have to do all the work...

Ugh!!!

I will get off my soapbox now.

I've signed up as a Member of Match.com, not a subscriber yet, so I can peruse a little bit and build up my favorites before paying for the subscription. I have probably looked at 200 profiles. Of the 200, I only found 2 that I liked, that looked like they were written by someone with half a brain. I have about 6 others on there that are okay, maybe possibilities. That's it. Nearly all the rest of the profiles and pictures looked like they were posted by someone with a severe mental handicap.

It is immensely frustrating, as I have expanded my search range to include from 28 to 43 (I am 29), and up to 30 miles away (which is an ETERNITY away in Los Angeles), and I have so few options, on the world's largest dating site.

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Whew. But, I have to remember...back when I was online dating last year...the best guys I met were all from Match. Didn't have the right chemistry with them, but at least they were nice, smelled okay, could put a sentence together, and could spell. A couple of them were really funny. So I'm trying to focus on the mostly positive experience I had with Match in the past rather than the fear and frustration I am feeling right now!!

Click Here to discover how to have 7 Dates or more this month with attractive women

As a recently married woman told me once: "You're not looking for 100 or 50 or 10 great guys. You're only looking for ONE. Focus on that. You can find ONE great guy." Easier said than done, but I'm not giving up!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Dating Profile Tips for Men

First of the dating profile tips for men would be no negatives. We don't want to hear about how bad you were treated by the women before us. This tells us you have some serious baggage and chances are good you are not over the "ex" yet. We assume you don't want to play games, so why put that in your profile? That really is a no brainer. Seriously have you ever seen an online dating profile that said, "I love to play games"?

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Second of the dating profile tips for men would be cut all the crap about how honest, warm, loving sincere, loyal and wonderful you are. Honestly almost every profile says this and it gets quite mundane. We have read that so much that we just skip over the part hoping that somewhere in the next paragraph you will have say something interesting.

Third of the dating profile tips for men would be leave out your cars, boats, motorcycles and airplanes. Materialistic are you? Such a turn off. Who cares? If women are responding to you because of your worldly possessions, really is that what you want? Also, please leave your shirt on, leave something for our imagination, we are not the visually stimulated creatures that you are. We connect on an emotional level.

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So what's left, we don't want your baggage, we don't want your wonderful qualities nor your material possissions, so what do we want. We want humor, and interesting. We don't mind knowing your taste in music and maybe what you like to do for fun. We want to know are you stable or maybe a bit on the wild side. What we want is a glimpse of your personality. Not some superficial words.

Click Here to discover how to have 7 Dates or more this month with attractive women

Women are now approaching men more and more on dating sites making that first move. The picture helps, but when it comes to online dating, it's the profile we pay attention to. I might be doing a search and run across a divine hunk, but if his profile is lame, well I go next. Your profile is your first impression, don't blow it.

Click Here to discover how to have 7 Dates or more this month with attractive women

Writing a good online profile is only the begining of the online dating game. Next is the email correspondence and how to actually get a date. It is not as simple as you would imagine, lots of rejection goes on with these online dating sites. Learn to get rejected more and get more dates.

Click Here to discover how to have 7 Dates or more this month with attractive women

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Facebook Flirting

It seems that facebook is a more practical place to meet singles as opposed to some of the free and paid dating sites. Instead of some fabricated profile that may or may not be true, you have the real personality to view in day to day interaction. You also have references in the form of facebook friends. What dating site has this? So how do you turn facebook into your own personal dating site? It starts with broadening your friends network and a little facebook flirting.

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You have to remember, friends have friends who have friends that have other single friends, brothers and sisters. The broader your network, the greater your chances are of finding romance. The broader your network the more opportunities you will have for flirting on facebook.

To flirt on facebook, you pay attention to the posters and commentors. It may not be the poster that gets your attention, but someone commenting. Toss in your own comment. Make it funny, witty and humorous to get the attention. The more you interact with friends and friends of friends, the bigger your playground for facebook flirting will become. The friend request will come. It does not hurt to make a few friend requests of your own either. What do you have to lose?

This process may not go along as rapidly as it could on a real on line dating site, as it will take much longer. Think of it this way. The wait creates anticipation and the anticipation creates a stronger attraction and bond. Flirting on facebook may not bring instant gratification, but it certainly increases your chances for long term satisfation.

Click Here to get over 101 proven flirty text messages

If you can send a flirty text message, you can surely practice some facebook flirting. If you are not skilled at sexting or sending flirty text messages, there are tons of resources out there to fine tune your skills, take advantage of them. Facebook flirting is fun!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Do Women Play Hard to Get?

The fact of the matter is, yes a lot of girls play hard to get. With all of the relationship material out there available at the click of the mouse, more and more girls are learning this technique of "playing hard to get". It's really not a bad thing, it is usually the quality girls that do this. They are looking for a quality guy.

In a girl's mind, if a guy will make a little extra effort to get past her little game, then he may be worth it or a good guy. That really is how we see it. It's not that we want to play these games, we just want a guy who is willing to put in a little extra work to get us. That way we know he really is interested and not just some guy out for one night or something casual.

We want to feel important and special, we are women, it's natural. We don't want to do all the leading, we want the man to lead. When we are not playing a bit hard to get, we are usually doing the calling, initiating and it just does not feel right. We want to be chased.

It gets rather complicated though. The relationship gurus give out the same advice to guys that they do girls. How can we ever meet in the middle. How do you know she is playing hard to get or if she is not that into you?

A girl playing hard to get will not accept a last minute date. She will not answer the phone after a certain hour, say 10 p.m. She will not call or text you first. She is setting her boundaries in the beginning and seriously wouldn't you rather have a girl with boundaries?

If you call in ample time and she accepts or she picks up the phone when you call at a decent hour, chances are good, she is interested, but just wants you to come and get her. It's every woman's fantasy you know. So yes, smart women do play hard to get. The more desperate ones usually don't. Which one do you want?

What do girls/women really want? Do nice guys finish last? What is it that gets them attracted? How do you keep that attraction going?