Below is a Newsletter I received from Mimi Tanner, a well know author of relationship books for women. I thought it was interesting and I thought you guys should read it. A lot of truth in it. I am telling you again, lots of girls/women out there. What on earth is the problem? I hope to shed a little light. I am sure by the way that this does work both ways. Women do the below too.
Click Here to discover how to have 7 Dates or more this month with attractive women
Many men feel that one of the most
important things they should tell
you in their online dating profiles
is that they have a sense of humor.
The trouble is, they feel that they
must be ADAMANT about it - they
must INSIST that they have one, in
case you don't believe them!
The more they insist, the less I
believe in their so-called sense
of humor!
Many men's online dating profiles
say something like this:
"I have an incredible sense of humor.
I really do, no matter what people
think. I'm like Woody Allen but
better. I'm telling you, my sense
of humor is fantastic, you freaking
hag!!"
Okay, I'm exaggerating, but here's
what I mean:
First of all, just because a man
says he has a sense of humor, that
does not mean that he really has one.
It doesn't mean he would even
recognize a Sense of Humor if
it bit him...
Second, I'm not sure why men think
that just because they say they
have a sense of humor, you're going
to believe it!
I believe it when they say they
have a dog; but when they say they
have a sense of humor and then they
feel the need to go one or two steps
further to INSIST that they have a
sense of humor, then I get suspicious!
One time, when I was looking
at guys' profiles in an online
dating site, I noticed one with a
photo that appealed to me. The man
sounded intelligent. His profile
was good.
However, he did make quite a point
that he had a sense of humor!! He
was SURE about that...
He also said, "I see the glass
as half full."
I had just read several profiles
which referred to how men "see the
glass" (zzzzzzzz). The "glass half
full or half empty" is already a
cliche, but I think that was one of
the suggestions this site made to
people as a way to describe themselves
in their profile. So I had already
read several profiles of men who
stated - of course - that they
see the glass as half full. (I
mean, any other answer is "wrong,"
because that would be "too negative"
even if it was honest...!)
This site just made it too easy
to shoot the guy a little note...
and since I wasn't trying to "find
a guy" but wanted some distraction,
I sent him a quick message.
I wrote, "I see the glass as spilled."
I also added, "That's a great picture!"
or some quick compliment on his photo.
The next day, this man wrote back
to me, "You see the glass as spilled
because of the people you surround
yourself with..."
Okay... so much for that sense of
humor!
Then he went on to tell me more about
WHY I see the glass as spilled and
how I can fix that. (Does he know
who I "surround myself with"?)
Then he added, "I'm sure your picture
is great too."
Oh, no! Strike two - the man feels
sorry for me. Well, yes, I do have
a very good picture (that was not
shown on the site by choice).
The photo comment wasn't a terrible
comment or a dealbreaker - it was
at least well intended - but the
man actually took my joke seriously
and then proceeded to give me advice.
He definitely didn't have the claimed
"sense of humor" - or not one that
would work for me.
That's one of the nice things about
online dating - you can prove to
yourself that what I'm telling
you is true - men do not respond
well to women who approach them
first.
When it doesn't matter, you can
be freer to test the Online Dating
waters and learn more about flirting
and about how men think.
It didn't matter how this man responded
since I wasn't trying to date the guy,
but it proved that when it comes
to online dating, men still respond
best when THEY approach YOU first.
It doesn't matter how wonderful you are,
at all - so don't let it get to your
ego if men misread you when you contact
them first!
Even if you turned out to be Jennifer
Lopez - most men are suspicious - and
they will assume that there must be
something "a-miss" about any woman who
"needs to" (they will infer) contact
a guy first!
Yes, that's their mistake - I know that.
But that IS the way it is. I didn't make
the biology! This is just the way it
works 99% of the time!
So my short-term dilemma was,
how should I respond to this man
without insulting his ego, the
one that thinks he has a great
sense of humor...?
Choice 1 - do not respond.
Choice 2 - respond but nicely.
I chose Choice 2 - I wrote "That
was a joke. :)"
If I hadn't included the smile,
it would have been insulting...
it would have been extremely rude
to say, "I thought you said you had
a sense of humor...!!!" I would
never say something like that, and
I trust you wouldn't either!!
What SHOULD you say about your
sense of humor in your profile?
Apparently it's like having all
your immunizations. You almost HAVE
TO mention it, like a requirement.
Some men may think that if you don't
say that you have a sense of humor,
then you must not have one. (A guy
like that is probably not your
mental equal... move on to the
next guy if they take things too
literally! And many men do!)
So it's a good idea to mention that
you have a sense of humor. But here's
an important caution for men and
women:
Don't ever try to "prove" that you have
a sense of humor by making a "joke" in
your profile, because this usually
backfires
For example, I was reading a man's
profile that sounded pretty good.
Of course, the guy said he had
a sense of humor. (No, really??)
Then near the end of a lengthy
paragraph or two, he said, "I'm
here because my blow-up doll is
out of order. I just wanted to
see who actually is still reading
this far."
UGH - that's a sense of humor?
That's more like a dealbreaker,
"humor" or not. YUK. This is a man
who does not understand the first
thing about women and who therefore
probably needs a plastic ladyfriend,
so NEXT... anyone who did read that
far was SO glad she did!!
That's a VERY good example of
trying to display a "sense of
humor" and having it "blow up"
on you.
Humor is something that will show
up in your interactions very
soon once you start talking. So
there's no sense trying to
PROVE that you have a sense of
humor in your profile!! Humor
is highly personal and individual
anyway - and jokes can be easily
misunderstood - as my own
experience certainly showed
when I made a joke - or thought
I did - to one of the thousands
of men who have a "great sense
of humor"!
Online dating DOES work! But don't
go into it without knowing how
it works.
Click Here to discover how to have 7 Dates or more this month with attractive women
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