Thursday, July 14, 2011

How To Find Love - Throw Away That Stupid List

Do you want to find love with a great woman? You wonder what list I am talking about? That stupid list in your head that you have of what the woman is supposed to be like, look like and all of that stuff. It's limiting your success at getting what you want and deserve.

I know men who are very specific in their lists. She can't smoke, she must exercise, she must be under 130 pounds, she must be this or that. She can't do this or that. These lists and expectations are killing you, trust me.

I have known men who have the silliest deal breakers. Don't get me wrong, women have them too. Things like she must love animals though? If she doesn't love animals she must be a bad person. Here is a fact, we don't know why people like or don't like certain things until we give them a chance and get to know them.

Example about the not loving animals thing. I am not an animal lover. There is a reason. As a child my mother took all of my animals and dropped them off in random places because she didn't like animals. As a child I learned that to attach to animals was pointless because they would vanish. Does that make me a bad person? Well many a man would not date me, yet they didn't know the entire story because they didn't give me a chance. I have a cat now by the way an am considering a dog.

Love does not always come in the package you had expected. I am not suggesting you settle, no far from it. I am suggesting you may not be able to recognize it if you are one of these people with a list or must haves. Add you list to your fear of rejection or your past experiences that may be clouding you ability to know it when it comes your way and you will never know how to find love.

I am a huge advocate of online dating. I have many a success story of how love was found online. Thing is, men carry that list with them to the online dating and fail again and then blame the women. Do you ever hear yourself saying women only want the bad boys? If so, you might want to rethink this. It's not true. I could go on and on. I do however, believe women do the same things. It's a wonder we ever get together.

If you want to know how to find love, open up to new possibilities. I have a client, he is a biker dude. He was wanting of course a biker chick. The biker chicks just wanted to ride his Harley. I encouraged him to start mailing different types of women. He resisted me in the beginning. Guess what kind of woman he is now in a relationship with? A book worm who has never been on the back of a Harley. They look like a mighty odd couple, but are blissfully happy. Lucky for him this woman was willing to throw away her list as well, but he did have to put some work into her. He says she is worth it all.

Another thing I have to mention if you are looking for love is this. You may need to search inside yourself and make some attitude changes. Men for some reason resist this more so than women. I have proof of this by the way. Women come to me way quicker for help than men do. There are resources out there, really good ones to help you online. Invest in them, do the work. It pays off.

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If you are doing online dating and you just tossed a profile up there, with your list of great qualities and the qualities of your dream woman, don't expect a lot. You really do get back what you put into things. If you want to find love, take it serious. It's not going to come knocking on your door. You have to do some work.

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Monday, July 11, 2011

Sexting Tips - How to Sext Her Into Bed

First, this is geared towards married men or men already in a relationship. Of course the principles will work for men in general wanting to get laid, but that is not something I am a huge advocate, but to each his own.

So often I hear men say or joke about how their women just don't seem to want to have sex like they did when they first met. This happens. The honeymoon phase wears off. It takes more to get the woman turned on. Ever made a move towards your girlfriend or wife to have her go a bit cold or tell you she is tired. She hates doing this, trust me, but she really doesn't feel like it. Does she not initiate or rarely initiate sex anymore? This is really a shame because it doesn't have to be this way, but I can tell you why.

Stress, day to day life gets in the way. A woman's desire sort of goes to sleep. They aren't going to just wake up all on their own, you are going to have to help her some. You need to wake her up.

Men can go from zero to 100 in just minutes because they are visually stimulated. I could walk out of the bedroom with panties on or just heels and my boyfriend would be sitting on ready. It would be instant because men are visually stimulated. This is not the case with women, we aren't visually stimulated.

You can send flowers or buy her gifts, but this isn't going to work either. She is touched and thinks it's sweet, but her carnal sex drive it will not awaken. A woman is stimulated by what she feels and imagines. Her erogenous zone is her mind. Her mind is her biggest sex organ.

What turns a woman on? A man is turned on by porn for the most part. A picture of a man with this raging hard on is not what gets a woman excited and dying to jump your bones. Have you ever read those crazy romance novels? I have. I am not a fan of them, but I will confess, I have become soaking wet from the language that is used in them and the pictures they create in my imagination.

So how to you do this by sexting? You stimulate her biggest sex organ, her mind, imagination and how she feels. By doing this you give her permission to open up her desires to you. Desires that may embarrass her or that she may find difficult to share. If you are the one stimulating her imagination and helping her create these pictures, yes by a few texts, you can turn your sex life around. You can have her dying to get her hands on you regardless.

I recently got a sext message from a guy who has read the sexting book. A few lines flipped my stressed out switch from off to on. He sent this one message. "I can't stop thinking about you this morning". I replied "Why" Now he could have been crude, or highly sexual, but he didn't. He played with my imagination and let me lead the fantasy from there after a few texts. He replied to my why with this. "Your looked delicious in my shirt this morning".

I won't share the rest of this conversation, but let's just say, it escalated. He opened the door and gave me permission so to speak to be bad. If you don't think you can text your woman into bed, I got news for you, you can. Just not like you may think. Sexting tips for men are far different than sexting tips for women, trust me on this one.

Text her into bed tonight.